Author Archives: Scott

So, the headlights on my car suddenly would not go out. When you’d open the driver’s door the car would start beeping insanely at you – and then the lights would stay on for a good half hour before finally … Continue reading →

The week after Halloween is over there needs to be a bounty on carved pumpkins, jack-o-lantern lights, and those gawd awful orange and black trashbags filled with leaves. Come Thanksgiving-time my neighborhood starts to look like Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before … Continue reading →

Ever notice how “hell” is part of hello and “good” is part of goodbye? For me personally, unless you just don’t like someone, hello’s are good and saying good-bye, well… Saying good-bye is hell.

I had Chinese food for dinner tonight. After the meal, I broke open the fortune cookie but I couldn’t get the fortune out of the center of the broken cookie. Whoever made the fortune cookies had somehow gotten the small … Continue reading →

This log entry powered by Penguin Caffeinated Peppermints (3 = the equivalent of one cola) Driving at night with little sleep, I relied on these babies to get me through. I’m home safe and sound. I’m also actually asleep while … Continue reading →

Two days in a row this week, two different women I work with told me, “Scott, I had a dream with you in it last night.” I stand up a little taller, and ask in an artificially deepened (think dorky … Continue reading →

Every morning when I take my daughter to her daycare there’s a guy with a leaf-blower working the grounds. He’s never actually picking up any leaves… or even piling them anywhere for that matter. He’s always in the same area, … Continue reading →

A friend sent me some information about Topps, you know – the bubble-gum card people (except they don’t include bubble-gum anymore). It seems they have a new line of cards out, “Enduring Freedom Picture Cards” – A NEW SERIES DOCUMENTING … Continue reading →

My friend Jen read the article I wrote yesterday about how I was looking at her artistic t-shirt, and not actually staring at her breasts. She asked me one question – “Did you see the really cool map that was … Continue reading →

Okay, it’s about time someone spoke up about a particular problem in our society. Don’t tune out – I’m not going to bombard you with more information on AIDS, tobbaco company attrocities, or the plight of unwed mothers. These are … Continue reading →

when I go to hell? or (got milk?) when I go to hell I might take some duct tape with me – because I imagine there are a lot of things that need fixing and if I start fixing things … Continue reading →

It started snowing earlier than normal this year. I can only imagine how many calls the health department got. “Oh my GOD! There’s white powder falling from the sky!!! It’s covering the entire city!” *insert Christmas music here – It’s … Continue reading →

Went through the drive thru at Rally’s for a hamburger. While I was waiting at the pick-up window I saw some superhero promotional stickers on the sliding glass window. Cool! I didn’t order the kid’s meal, but I really wanted … Continue reading →

You know when you say a word over and over and over again, how it disassociates from the actual meaning and starts to sound silly? Well, with all the news coverage of Afghanistan, I’ve come up with a top ten … Continue reading →

The War on Terrorism The U.S. is airdropping food to Afghanistan at the same time that we’re bombing them. I’ve thought of a way we can better combine our collective efforts to fight and feed. You know those chain burger … Continue reading →

Nothing much new today in the “War on Terrorism”. I would like to point out, though, that I havn’t heard much from Microsoft since September 11th. I’m not meaning court battles or restitution (or more appropriately, lack thereof). What I … Continue reading →

I havn’t updated this blog in a while. First there were billable jobs to attend to, then Mr. Mom hours started taking their toll, then on Septermber 11th, the terrorist attacks on the WTC and Pentagon set me in front … Continue reading →

I was, shall we say, indisposed, when I heard my wife call from the other room asking if I had gone to bed. “No,” I replied. “I’m indisposed.” “Oh, I thought I heard you in the bedroom.” “No, I’m indisposed.” … Continue reading →

Mr. Mom takes care of 15-month old daughter – Scene One: (wife) “You fed her plums!?” (me) “What!? It was in the cabinet!” (wife) “There’s all kinds of fruits in the cabinet! You chose plums!?” (me) “It was a dark … Continue reading →

Things you don’t want to hear… “I was taking out the garbage and I remembered I wanted to call you.” Thanks Mom!