Author Archives: Scott

Happy Birthday to Me Happy Birthday to Me Everyone older than me keeps saying “I’m catching up” to them. Only if I kill them.

On the importance of enunciation… Be careful with statements like “I practice self-deprecating humor.”

Butch eye for the girlie girl. Just wait.

I was telling someone about the wonderful beignets I had in New Orleans. Just for the record, it’s a square doughnut with no hole buried in powdered sugar. It’s pronounced BEN-yay and should not be confused with BEN-wa. Some people … Continue reading →

Thoughts about online dating… (part 3) I used to think Seinfeld was rediculously funny. More like poignantly funny.

Thoughts about online dating… (part 2) Somebody really needs to skim the dating pool. Or drain it.

Thoughts about online dating… (part 1) If you have a pool of contestants the size of Czechoslovakia, and you run a show like “American Idol” do you *really* expect a number one hit on the charts?

Another blog entry proving I’m obsessed with New Orleans… When they vote for most friendly city, I think the following story should be taken into account: My brother Keith and I (yeah, yeah, another “My brother and I…” story) were … Continue reading →

Gomer Pyle – part 2 Prostitutes. I’d like to think of myself as worldly, but in the end, I’m still more Midwestern boy than anything else. Pretty much, I’d figure on bumping into, and starting a conversation with, a Cuban … Continue reading →

Gomer Pyle – part 1 Evening in Fort Wayne – mosquitoes. Evenings in New Orleans French Quarter – prostitutes. Okay, so perhaps that’s a bit extreme, but I’ve never felt so “aww shucks!” Midwestern than walking down Bourbon street this … Continue reading →

New Orleans – Night 3 (of 3) Last day of the conference! Yeah! They hold these things in places like Vegas and New Orleans so the participants don’t die of boredom, resurrect themselves, and then brutally kill themselves again rather … Continue reading →

New Orleans – Night 2 (of 3) Morning. I discovered that New Orleans pigeons subsist on a diet of spilled beer and powdered sugar. I’d swear the birds at the Cafe Dumonde were stoned. One of them was walking around … Continue reading →

New Orleans – Night 1 (of 3) Rainy. A little cold. Won $40 playing the nickel slots in the casino. Was jones’ing to play craps like last year in Vegas but the tables all had $10 minimums (too steep). Still … Continue reading →

I’m getting ready to leave on a business trip – a fundraising convention in New Orleans. The plane leaves tomorrow morning sometime and I’m coming home on Sunday. I’m very comfortable with this level of information. I know the details … Continue reading →

We got more tape! [See Jan 05 entry] Had someone by some weird quirk of fate seen my thinly veiled fictional account? Had I made a subtle difference for good in the universe around me?? Was I an instrument of … Continue reading →

Ah yes… The new year. Businesses also make resolutions. Usually to save money. Can’t fire any more people – everyone knows that corporations do that just before Christmas anyway so that’ll have to wait another 11 months. So, cut spending! … Continue reading →

What this country needs is some moral viagra. Damnit.

January 1st of the new year. The one time we resolve to change our wicked ways and become better people. We knowingly list off all the faults we rationalize away the rest of the year. We have plans to eradicate … Continue reading →

Eclectic musical tastes – When you are vacillating between two radio stations because you can’ t decide if you want to hear Ozzy Osbourne or Shania Twain. Getting older – Shania won.

My brother/partner was comping some text for a page… Normally I rush through just looking at the layout and all the nonsensical “Greek” filler for words, but something caught my eye so I took a closer look. —begin cut/paste— Here … Continue reading →