I received a text message from my older sister earlier. It said simply, "RIP Dad. 13 years." I was instantly taken aback. I did not remember the date or even that the anniversary of his death was this month. At the same time, I stared at the number. 13 years. 25 percent? No, I'm not that old yet; 27 percent of my life that he's been gone. Almost the entirety of my daughter's life. In so many ways, that number feels like an eternity. Yet, I still remember seeing him in the hospital that last day. I remember speaking the words to say goodbye at his funeral. I can remember his voice, filled with pride, when he packed me off to college. I remember how his face looked when I was a young boy and he told me my next oldest sister had "gone to the Lord." I remember in high school when he helped me build a working full-size catapult. Or the day he, who never got in the pool, came home and jumped in because the temperature topped 100 degrees. All of these memories and the anniversary of his death came to me as a text message reminder. Truly, what kind of son was I? However, in 13 years, there has not been a day gone by where I did not look at my world and wish I could share some aspect with him. I see his stubbornness peeking through in my teenager. I approach building or fixing things with the question, "Now, how would Dad do this?" So many times, I still have the knee jerk reaction to get in the car and just go ask him, or to borrow the right tool out of his old and worn toolbox. 13 years. 4,745 days. I miss him, as I am sure my two surviving siblings do, much more than this one day. I have never been a man good with dates and pinning times like a note to a cork board. My brain just does not work that way. Aside from a few birthdays, I am totally and embarrassingly reliant on my older sis, who has a head for these things, or on calendars or electronics – which still require me to pause and write things out or program the information into them. But where I never have to pause to remember, what I never forget over 4,745 days, or for as many days that I have left, is that he will always be beside me. I know he is there cheering my successes, telling me to buck up when life disappoints, that good things will come if you are willing to work for them, and of course, to be the man I am. The man who may not remember a day, but always remembers 4,745 of them. I miss you Dad. I love you.
More Dad…
Father's Day message 2013
https://plus.google.com/+ScottCramer/posts/Ztk16LSNN2y
Eulogy 2001
http://ransackery.com/thoughts/dad.htm
Google+: View post on Google+
Post imported by Google+Blog. Created By Daniel Treadwell.
I lost my Dad 8 years ago. I know these feels.
hugs and chocolate
He still inspires you, so he isn't truly gone. Be happy for the time you had together and for the kind of man he was, which made you into the kind of man you are.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Hugs with free refills
Lots of love.
Thanks all… When my sis texted me earlier this evening, this sort of wrote itself. All hugs shared with +Keith Cramer and my sis +Deb Meisner (a blue head, sigh).
Beautiful tribute, +Scott Cramer. Yesterday was 4 years for Sara's (my wife) mom & 5 1/2 years for my dad. It's always this subconscious urge to pick up the phone. We head back to Arizona or Colorado, and it's still a shock that they aren't there to greet us.
Scott, I want to tell you that I think your life is an amazing legacy to your dad whether it's the anniversary or not. I see the shenanigans you get up to with Keith. I see how you interact with your & each others' kids. I see your family holding together with love 13 years later.
Powerful legacy, my friend.
Darn it +Jake Kern. This isn't the first time you've made me cry, man. Cut it out.
Those thoughts hit ya at the weirdest times… triggered by the smallest things.
Almost 14 years since my mom passed. The date is easy to remember for me despite me being terrible with dates. It was the day after Mother's Day in 2000. I've learned to try to avoid the Internet for the week around Mother's Day because of that…. brings up all the feelings all over again. These days it's more pride because I know she would love where I have gotten myself in life, but those base feelings of loss are still there. I don't like Mother's day a lot because of that.
Maybe exploding watermelons would make you laugh, +Scott Cramer. I know one of my friends made a video of something like that…just need to find it. 😉
(((BroHugs)))
LOL… I see what you did there +Jake Kern. Dad would have made us still eat the watermelon. 😉
I lost my dad when I was overseas. Didn't get to say goodbye properly but the day I received the phone call from home to tell me he passed, I felt his presence with me right then. hug
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~ Khalil Gibran
Just hugs
What Carrie said.
My husband's funeral was 11 years ago today. He was 51. Our wedding anniversary was march 6. Dates like those don't go away, they do fade in time.
This coming Thanksgiving will make 5 years that my dad's been gone. Somehow seems even longer ago than that.
Awww, love you. <3
Beautifully written and a fine tribute to your father. Mine died March 16, 1988 and I still think of him. I owe who I am today to my father. He was a fine man.
My brother died 10 years ago March 5. Happens to be our mother's birthday. Outstanding share Scott. Thank you.
Ditto, +Terrance Newton. I can't say it better. My father is still alive, but my father-in-law died 6 years ago (it seems like yesterday), and he was like my own father to me. He was a minister, so what I miss most, other than his presence, is our theological debates. :^)
Happens to me to…we just get busy and forget special dates like this one..i miss my Dad too…great post!
Hugs! I lost my dad almost 12 years ago. I still miss him. All the time.
+Scott Cramer I'll raise a glass in your father's honor, and another in yours. Cheers, my friend.
hugs in October my Mom will have been gone for 28 years. It breaks my brain and my heart. I can't even really do the math anymore. She's been gone what, 2/3 of my life? More? I can no longer tell.
you were so blessed to have such a caring and strong role model as a father. hugs, my friend. =]
My condolences to u that was a beautiful post rip to your dad
May your aim always be true Optimus II. /salute
Having lost
just abouteveryone from my side of the family that I cared about I can fully relate, +Scott Cramer. Peace on his memory and thank you for sharing. There's a hug here if you want it.A Father's love is eternal and is a gift one man gives to another thereby improving everyone's world. Thank you for your part in this.
Well written, dear Scott. I am glad you have so many good memories and that you cherish them so my friend. In memories of those we have lost and loved.
Hugs to you & the family. What wonderful precious memories.
I've started to forget my Dad's voice, which I find distressing. What sort of daughter cannot recall her own father's voice? I know I'm being ridiculous.
The anniversary of my Dad passing is next month, 12yrs.
Yes, you've made me cry again, damn it.
having lost both my parents in the span of 15 years – my mom's anniversary is st patricks day- i can totally relate as well. many hugs to you and the rest of you as well.
Once again you have expressed the love and loss you feel for your father so eloquently that I feel it too. I am very lucky that both my parents are still going strong but the loss of my grandparents in Feb 2008 and Aug 2010 hit me hard and I still think about them daily.
Big (((HUGS))) my friend, I know that your father must have been very proud of the children he raised and would be even prouder to see the people/parents you have become in his absence x
Losing a parent is never easy. How wonderful that you keep his spirit alive in your words and thoughts, +Scott Cramer ~! So sorry for your loss, but happy for your great memories.
Loved reading about your memories of your father, you have a tender heart, +Scott Cramer. Dates don't matter, don't feel bad about not remembering a certain day. It's not what your love and memories are all about.
squishy hugs
hugs
A loss of a parent is difficult, but is wonderful you have so many memories of him. 🙂
I could not make it through all of what you wrote or I would have started to cry! Loosing loved ones is very hard and remembering things is the best part! I can not listen to a certain song with out crying anymore as it reminds me of passing of grandpa.
BIG hugs when you get in today! =)
+Nikki C hugs for you. I forgot my Mom's voice a long time ago. Sometimes I get slammed with regret. It's a tough part of the loss process, very tough.
Thank you +Paige D'Winter. Back at ya! There are so many things that were not said & really should have been. Regrets wrapped in guilt.
Wow… so many beautiful and emotional words to wake up to this morning. Thank you all!!! I know +Keith Cramer feels the same and I will have him catch up when I get to the office. I will also send a link to my sis (who has not yet made the G+ switch) to show her what absolutely wonderful and caring people you all are!
I especially appreciate the words about your own loved ones; and am honored you took the time to share back with me. I apologize for causing any tears but am happy to share a moment of remembrance with you for all of our loved ones. <<hugs>>
Thank you so much for sharing. My parents are still very close to me – nearly best friends – and I often stop at the realization that someday I may deal with their loss. Having had a close call with my mother and cancer a few years ago has firmly imprinted this impermanence in my mind. You remind me that nobody who is remembered is ever truly gone and that it is our duty to ourselves to cherish and imprint every positive memory with those we love in the face of impermanent time.
Thanks for sharing…. I get a little lost for words, but I wanted to say I empathize, and share the emotion.
Tears are healthy in minor amounts. It is hiding your feelings inside that isn't so good for you…
Beautifully said.