The post about the creepy itchy feeling.

Sometimes those creepy itchy feelings really ARE a bug crawling on you.

I gotta sweep more.

Posted in Everything Else | 1 Comment

Change Text Color in Vader Style on the K2 Theme

This information is intended for WordPress K2 Theme users playing around with the included Vader style.

I was modifying the Vader.css for a site. I could not figure out how to change the text color for the posts. The style “right out of the box” has a gray text color on a black background which, in my opinion, is uncomfortable to read. I’m not a big fan of light text on a dark background anyway, but the default text color in Vader is really bad.

As it turns out, the text color is coming from style.css and not being changed by vader.css at all.

Add this to vader.css to change the text color:

.entry-content {
color: #999999;
}

“#999999” works well or you can go lighter yet – just play with it. Hope this helps if you are exasperated and out searching. Leave me a comment if you found this post helpful. 🙂

Posted in Blogging | 9 Comments

VDaemon Error: Can't unserialize validators information.

This post is for anyone having a problem using VDaemon for web form validation getting the error message “VDaemon Error: Can’t unserialize validators information.

I moved the site using VDaemon to a new server and started getting the error message.

Old Server:
VDaemon: 2.3.0
OS (from command “cat /etc/issue”): CentOS release 4.5 (Final)
Apache: 2.0.46 (Red Hat)
PHP: 4.4.2

New Server:
VDaemon: 2.30
OS (from command “cat /etc/issue”): Red Hat Enterprise Linux ES release 3 (Taroon Update 9)
Apache: 2.0.63 (Unix)
PHP: 5.25

The problem was in the vdaemon.php file in the function VDValidate().

There are two specific instances in the function where the line “$sErrMsg = VD_E_UNSERIALIZE;” is setting the error message.

There is a string comparison on the “if” statements before each line. From old server to new server the value being returned by the PHP “get_class” function in the “if” statement is returning a different case. My old server was returning a strictly lower case value and my new server is not.

The surest way to handle this error no matter what case your environment delivers the results is to force a comparison of same case to same case. I used the PHP “strtolower” function to convert the “get_class” result to lower case and *then* compare it to the string listed in the “if” statement. The text strings being compared (“cvdvalruntime” and “xmlnode”) were already in lower case on my distribution of VDaemon but if they are not strictly lower case in your code, change them to lower case.

Here are the two lines that I changed:

Before: if (!$oRuntime || get_class($oRuntime) != ‘cvdvalruntime’ || !is_array($oRuntime->aNodes))
After: if (!$oRuntime || strtolower(get_class($oRuntime)) != ‘cvdvalruntime’ || !is_array($oRuntime->aNodes))

Before: if (get_class($oRuntime->aNodes[$nIdx]) != ‘xmlnode’)
After: if (strtolower(get_class($oRuntime->aNodes[$nIdx])) != ‘xmlnode’)

This fixed it for me.

If this helped you out, leave a comment! 🙂

Posted in Computers & Internet | 3 Comments

WordPress K2 Theme Sidebar Manager Broke My Site

This post is for WordPress admins who find their sites suddenly not displaying right after working with the K2 theme sidebar manager.

Configuration:
As of this writing, I am using WordPress 2.3.3 with release 4 of the K2 theme. I have the following active plugins: Akismet 2.1.3, Gravatars2 2.7.0, Gravatars2 WP-Cron 1.1, Subscribe To Comments 2.1.2, WordPress Database Backup 1.7.

Background:
I was configuring the K2 Sidebar Manager with the modules I wanted displayed and the order in which I wanted them displayed. I was working with three columns and also had one custom “Text, HTML, and PHP” module that I was using for Google Adwords. As I made changes, I was flipping over to another browser tab to take a look at my site. I think I had just removed a sidebar module and changed the order of existing modules – to tell the truth, I don’t remember the last change made. However, the site stopped displaying correctly. In Firefox you could see the top header and the three column format and the text on the page. The page background behind the text had disappeared displaying the site’s black color background throughout everything. I run a three column format with the posts in column 1, site navigation modules in column 2, and Google Adwords in column 3. Everything but the site search had disappeared.

What I tried that failed (not necessarily in this order):

  • Going back to the K2 sidebar manager and adding and removing modules to reflect some kind of change in the page.
  • Changing from 3 to 2 columns and back again. It didn’t work either way.
  • Under K2 Options, deactivating the K2 sidebar manager. It worked without it! When I activated it again, it didn’t work anymore.
  • Changing themes to my previous non-K2 theme. The site worked with the old theme! When I changed back to K2, it didn’t work anymore.
  • Cleared all cache, cookies (pretty much everything) in the Firefox browser. Nope.
  • Changed to Internet Explorer. Same problems except the interpretation of the CSS left me with the white page background so it looked better but the sidebar manager modules were still not working.

The fix:
Looking at the database tables for WordPress, under the table “wp-options” there is a record with an “option_name” of “k2sbm_modules_active”. When you look at the MEMO field under “option_value” this is where all of the K2 sidebar manager settings are stored. Mine was fubar’d somehow. I have several WordPress blogs that I  administrate. I was initially leery of just deleting the field so I copied the contents from the field of a newly installed WordPress with K2. This fixed the site. So, afterwards – now that I was comfortable I could fix things – I deleted the contents of the field. This worked fine. Afterwards I went back into my K2 sidebar manager and set everything back up the way I wanted. Everything worked fine.

What to do in the future:
There is a  “restore” and “backup” button at the top of the K2 sidebar manager. Once you have made changes in your sidebar manager, click the “backup” button. This will save a data file to your computer with – guess what? – the value of the “k2sbm_modules_active” field. To test, I saved my setup, went into the database and deleted the value manually, and then restored. Everything worked great.

Hope this helps somebody out! Leave me a comment if you find it helpful. 🙂

Posted in Computers & Internet | 6 Comments

Swiss Flu

If you are going to have the flu for three days, I prefer the one where you can finish off a box of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls between passing out and the cold sweats.

Mmmm Swiss Cake Rolls

Posted in Everything Else | 1 Comment

Carrie Underwood in Attack of the 50 Foot Woman

Special guest Josh Turner doesn’t seem to mind. 😉

Carrie Underwood
Actual ad for Carrie Underwood concert.
Attack of the 50 Foot Woman
1958 B-Movie “Attack of the 50 Foot Woman” Poster.

Posted in Everything Else | 3 Comments

Cycling your new aquarium / fish tank

Buy a tank. Fill it with water. Throw in some fish. All done.

Right?

Wrong!

You don’t have to take it for a walk or clean it’s litter box, but a home aquarium still requires effort. I knew this going in (I used to have a salt water tank many years ago *oh the horror*) but it’s been just long enough that I’ve been boning up on my fish knowledge the past few weeks.

Cycling your new tank is as important to moving forward with your aquarium as building the proper foundation for your new house. If you don’t do it right, the whole thing is going to come crashing down. Cost aside, I feel more guilty about dead fish than broken lumber. But hey, I’m wacky like that. Remember I mentioned the salt water aquarium from years ago? I was like the Nazi Third Reich of the salt water fish world. In the end, when I finally gave up, I had one small Damsel fish living in a 75 gallon fish tank (note, that I do not call it an “aquarium” at this point). Of course, as Karma is wont to do, that one fish lived the next year without benefit of cleaning or feeding because I refused to take an active part in his demise. But anyway, I digress…

Cycling the tank… There is good information all over the ‘net or available by talking to your local fish stores. Here’s an article I liked (time will tell if it’s any good): http://www.bestfish.com/breakin.html

My personal opinion, something to remember about *any* information you get, whether it be from fish store, friend, or internet – there is no cut and dried set of rules for everything with your aquarium. There are some basic truisms and from there everyone starts going in slightly different directions for exactly what you “need” to do to be a successful fish owner (and not a salt water killer, mentioning no names, ah-hem). My suggestion is to talk to as many people and read as much as you can and then pick a course, stay consistent, pay attention to what’s going on with your aquarium, and be willing to modify your course as needed. Status quo doesn’t work really well when fish are going belly up; that’s just taking “stay consistent” to an absurd level. Buy books, you ask? If that’s your comfort zone, but local shops and the internet are free (save your money for that next tank, you know you’ll want one) and provide a much broader amount of information (and take up a lot less room in your living room). Internet is great, but remember that just because someone can publish a web page, it doesn’t mean they know what they are talking about. “Joe Bob’s Rules for Keeping Fish Health with Tabasco Sauce”? Probably not wise. Use common sense and look for a depth of knowledge and some consistency in what’s being side from one source of information to another.

Here’s an example of differing information you can get, from what I recently went through cycling my new tank. I purchased my initial fish from Petco, and the gentleman there – who has an aquarium of his own, lending at least some to his credibility – suggested 5 to 8 fish maximum to start out my new 55 gallon tank. So, I purchased 8 fish (I fight being impatient so I went with the upper limit – be cautious of these impatient feelings). The day after I added my first fish, my nephew and his wife gave me 7 more Wal-Mart (I mention the store because I’d really like to research the quality of fish from the store that also sells generic cola, diapers, and anything else you can think of at 2am) for my birthday. Oops! Suddenly I was up to 15 fish and freaking out just a little that everyone was going to be dead by morning. Had I read a little more (I was also impatient in that I just talked to the fish store guy and solely went on that opinion in setting up the new tank with fish) I would have learned there are other rules of thumb for number of fish in a new tank.

The link I provided above for cycling the tank says 2 to 5 inches of fish initially per 10 gallons of water. So, in my case 8 to 20 inches of fish (see a couple posts back where I cover how 55 gallon capacity can equate to only 40 gallon actual capacity). So, considering a bit more than one inch per fish on average, I was probably right at the limit (by the above article, at least)! Other articles on the ‘net range anywhere between the pet store guy and the above article, but all of them are pretty close. Other factors such as temperature, oxygen in the water, type of fish, live plants, adding gravel/rock/wood from an established tank, etc., all come into play too. Pick a path that makes sense to you and for the type of aquarium you envision and move forward. So far so good for me. I lost two fish within the first week but they were also the two smallest fish out of the initial 15 (and from Petco rather than the Wal-Mart fish, go figure). So perhaps a slight case of overcrowding during the initial cycling phase or a combination of maxing out the number of fish to go through the cycling phase *and* two of them not being hardy enough to survive regardless. For the progression I’ve had with my tank thus far, I’m voting these two would not have had a tough time whether there were 8 or 15 fish.

And with this… I become another one of those “articles” floating around the ‘net. So take it at face value and do more reading. Comments? Experiences of your own? Bring ’em on! Would love to hear them!

Posted in Aquarium | 13 Comments

My aquarium was advertised as having a 55 gallon capacity.

Filling it with water – aside from decorations and rocks – this just didn’t seem like it was true.

Here’s some good information on the actual capacity of your aquarium / fish tank.

Good explanation of why your tank is NOT really the size you purchased and simple formula to figure out the actual capacity.
CLICK HERE TO OPEN IN NEW WINDOW

More complex formula to figure out your tank’s actual capacity. If you hate numbers or thinking don’t go here. But if you really hate numbers and thinking, consider a gold fish bowl, eh?
CLICK HERE TO OPEN IN NEW WINDOW

So, what about my 55 gallons???

  • First off, here are the approximate dimensions of my tank:
    48x21x12.5 outside dimensions (actual edge to edge)
    47.5x17x12 inside dimensions (inside glass measurements and height from rock substrate to the top edge of the water, so just the space that actually CONTAINS water)
  • Using the first (simple) link above:
    Multiple out the inside dimensions and divide by 231 (Length x Width x Height / 231).
    My 55 gallons? Actually about 42 gallons in reality! However this does not account for the space taken up (displacement of water) by decorations or anything else in the tank.
  • Using the second (more complex) link above:
    The chart at the second link uses the outside measurements from what I understand. For mine, the height was a little off because I think they go by a purely glass tank and mine has a plastic rim on the top and bottom which increases the height a bit. You plug in your numbers and follow down the right column in the chart to find your tank capacity.
    My 55 gallons? Actually about 40 gallons in reality! Now this chart I think is considering the fact that you have other things in the water taking up space and after considering the first number I got (42 gallons) less other things in the tank, the 40 gallon number makes sense – for my tank, at least.

Why does it all matter? Well, first off I just like to know what I really have. 😉 Beyond that, the capacity of your tank makes a difference in trying to figure out how many fish you can have or dosing out medication to the tank if needed. Think about it – if I were to treat my tank for a sickness, 40 gallons vs 55 gallons on dosage would make a pretty big deal! Why might my fish get sick? Well, if I filled the tank with fish for 55 gallons of water vs 40 gallons of water, I effectively became a fish slum lord with all the sickness hazards of overcrowding.

I’m a noob, but it makes sense to me. Anyone else? Love to hear from you in the comments!

Posted on by Scott | 4 Comments

The new 55 gallon aquarium is going through it’s “new cycling” phase. See future post for more on this or just forget about it for the purpose of this post! One of the starter fish, the smallest, started doing poorly a day or two ago. First he was lethargic and not eating. Then, the other fish starting nipping at him and he cowered in a top corner away from everyone. I came home from work this evening and did a quick head-count. Everyone still present and accounted for – well, almost. The sickly one was not only without pieces of his tail fin but entirely without the tail fin and in fact, a few bites out of his body. Cringe.

Zombie Fish
Image by John Schwegel

What to do? He wasn’t dead so I couldn’t Doctor Kevorkian him could I? “What do fish feel?” I wondered as I looked at him (her?) and followed quickly by a second thought of, “How can he swim without a tail?” Then I couldn’t get an old children’s poem out of my head – the one by Shel Silverstein about being eaten alive by a snake. Yeah, I know, a children’s poem about being eaten alive by a snake… not today’s topic. An aquarium is supposed to be relaxing, and sitting in my living room working on the computer while twelve fish are slowly eating another fish alive is, I must say, not at all relaxing.

Not Relaxing

I determined to put this fish out of it’s (removing personal pronouns at this level does make it easier) misery. By it’s, I mean equally mine. By mine, I mean, I’m not being eaten alive by other apartment dwellers in my building, so I guess in the end I’m actually putting my uncomfortability out of it’s misery along with this poor thing. Decision made, it was only up to the “how”. I remember my brother having caught a mouse, mangled, but still alive, in a trap. He dumped it in a sack in his back yard and proceeded to whack it into jelly with a shovel. Then I remembered too how grossed out he was – plus I live in an apartment and have little need for a shovel. The closest thing I’ve got is a large serving spoon. Albeit, the comparative size of mouse vs. shovel and fish vs. spoon ratio out pretty well, I’d feel guilty serving potatoes again with that spoon.

The Tick

I remembered my brother’s claims that last time I owned a tank I had dispatched of a sick fish by dropping him head first into a growling garbage disposal. To tell my side of it, I still claim this is a story I told my brother about another person and he has somehow transposed the deed unto me. I personally think he carries guilt over the mouse jelly incident. My proof is that, no matter how quick it might be for the fish, I am still grossed out by the thought of dropping a partially eaten yet alive animal any-side-first into spinning blades of death. Way way way too up close and personal. Heck, I still think meat comes from the grocery, not animals.

Garbage Disposal

Which left me only one other option, cliche as it might be, that I could think of at the time. Dropping a partially eaten yet alive animal any-side-first into swirling waters of doom. Much much much different than my other option. Sure the fish would live longer somewhere in the dark bowels of the apartment sewage system but I wouldn’t have to distress my sensibilities with the sound of grinding garbage disposal blades. Flushing was like burial at sea. Perhaps honorable, even. Perhaps even the possibility he’d be snapped up by the jaws of a waiting sewer gator eliminating all chance of long suffering, AND paying tribute to the circle of life. Yes, this was the way to go.

Flush

And so it was.

Circle of Life

Except now I’m afraid to sit on the stool. To paraphrase, “Karma’s a real fish.”

😉

Sick fish? What did you do? Sound off in the comments!

Posted on by Scott | 18 Comments

So, what do you have in your house containing water and fish? Is the correct term or definition for it a “fish tank” or an “aquarium”?

To jump start the discussion I found some useful information on Englishforums.com. I have provided the link in case you want to check it out, but I’ll paraphrase the pertinent bits below if you just want to continue chilling here.

Bit One…

Definitions of “aquarium”:
1. container for fish: a water-filled transparent container, often box-shaped, in which fish and other water animals and plants are kept
2. aquatic zoo: a building in which fish and other water animals are kept and shown to the public

Defintion of “fish tank”:
noun
:
a tank or pool or bowl filled with water for keeping live fish and underwater animals

Pretty much the same by definition for either one when you look at it that way.

Bit Two…

In many situations “fish tank” and “aquarium” could be used interchangeably — I might ask my daughter if she had cleaned the aquarium lately, or I might say the fish tank. But “aquarium” has a more expensive, decorative implication — “fish tank” is more basic. The phrase “My, what a beautiful _______________” would more likely be completed with “aquarium” rather than “fish tank.”

For example, a Chinese restaurant has a beautiful aquarium in the front of the restaurant for people to look at while waiting for a table. Near the kitchen, they have a tank of live lobsters waiting to become someone’s dinner. I don’t know if restaurants ever keep live fish to turn into dinner, but if they did, they would probably call the place they keep them a fish tank, not an aquarium.

Bit Three…

Think of the difference that comes to mind between a church and a cathedral.

Bit Four…

Typically, a fish tank is something smaller, say, 5 to 10 gallon capacity. If you say “I have an aquarium in my house”, the impression is often of something larger and elaborately decorated with a large selection of expensive, and often exotic tropical species with seascape in aqua color lighting.

No one likely calls the Monterey Aquarium a fish tank. However someone may call their 10 gallon fish tank an aquarium.

My conclusion? I say “my” since I don’t believe there is a set-in-stone grammatical law for all aspects of this question and what follows from here are strictly my own thoughts on the matter.

  • In the case of a large public aquatic zoo, it’s definitely “aquarium” all the way.
  • Below that, if it doesn’t take up an entire room, then strictly by definition I think you could stand firm grammatically either way.
  • Scaling down to fish kept in the home environment, though, my personal opinion is that a small, inexpensive setup easily obtained and maintained and with a small amount of fish is a “fish tank”. To me, anything from a bowl up to the 15 to 20 gallon containers that you can easily cart out of the store under one arm is a “fish tank”.
  • There’s a gray area going from the 20 to 30 gallon size that to me tips the scale into the category of “aquarium” based on the intricacy and aesthetic qualities of the environments that are created. A 20 gallon glass rectangle filled with water, a smattering of pebbles, and some gold fish is a “fish tank”. A 20 gallon glass rectangle filled with water, a landscaped bed of pebbles, decorations, plants, and a variety of aquatic life chosen with some sense of marine balance or to mimic a natural marine environment is an “aquarium”.
  • Larger size containers from 55 to 75 gallons are typically going to be called “aquariums” based on the sheer presence of the aquatic environment. Hobbyists at this level, taking on the cost and maintenance of a larger environment are more likely going to go the extra distance for a representation of a true marine environment or a more carefully selected ecosystem of fish and other aquatic life not easily just thrown together or maintained.
  • However, if someone does, for example, have a 75 gallon environment filled with feeder fish or one or two haphazard decorations and a couple fish, then personally I’d revert back to calling it a “fish tank” and not an “aquarium”.

Personally, I have a 55 gallon aquarium. Hypocritically speaking, though, I’ll probably still call it a fish tank when I’m talking to my 7-year-old daughter or in casual conversation with someone that I don’t really want to spend a half hour regurgitating what you’ve just read here. 😉

Any other fish tank / aquarium owners out there? Disgruntled fish tank / aquarium retailers trying to optimize your fish tank / aquarium web pages for the search engines? 😉

Sound off in the comments!

Posted on by Scott | 7 Comments

New Fish Tank – Aquarium

About a year ago my 7-year-old daughter wanted me to get a fish tank. I said I did not have enough money and that when I saved enough we could do it. I found a neat decorative glass jar and started saving change. A few months ago, my daughter told me she wanted to add the change she had been saving for years in her piggy bank and I agreed. Recently we counted all the change we saved and there was $190. She added an additional $20 in change from her piggy bank at her mother’s house. I told her we had enough! Okay, so I knew I’d be adding more, but this was enough of a boost to pull the trigger especially since Dad was pretty anxious to have a new aquarium too!

[picture coming]

We are now the proud owners of a 55 gallon freshwater tank! 15 fish started out almost a week ago… 13 remaining. *fingers crossed*

[picture coming]

Posted in Aquarium | Comments Off on New Fish Tank – Aquarium

The Amazing Race Season 12 Episode 1 Recap

[Author’s note (added well after the season finale) – After posting the first recap, I was whole-heartedly into watching the race this season, but having already taken a break from the entire blogging scene, I just wasn’t ramped back up into writing about it. To my loyal two Amazing Race recap readers (neither of whom are my family – for shame!) I apologize. See you next season! Well, unless the producers come to their senses and finally get my brother and I on the show!] 😉 

The Amazing Race Season 12 Episode 1 Recap

Only 11 legs this season and no elimination rounds. My suggestion for the producers is a hidden immunity idol. 😉 Something I noticed this season – look at the CBS official site and click through the teams. Looking at the ages, it is predominantly a 20-something race with a splattering of older folks. The 40-something crowd is nowhere to be seen! Bad news for my Amazing Race application.

Want to see a graphical view of the racers from beginning to present? Click on the below graphic. (Opens in a new window.)

The Amazing Race Season 12 Leg 1 Standings

This week’s rundown:

1st Place – Azaria & Hendekea – Brother/Sister – Won a Canada resort trip.
Last Week – N/A
If I can get by the fact I think their training for the race included thinking of as many different ways as possible to say how much smarter they are than everyone else, I might like these two. I’ll let it go this week – since they came in first.

2nd Place – Kynt & Vyxsin – Dating Goths
Last Week – N/A
If Alice Cooper and David Bowie could have had children together… I like the goth duo, though, I really do. If they don’t tire out from carrying an extra 100 pounds of makeup luggage, I think they’ll do well.

3rd Place – Rachel & TK – Dating for almost one year
Last Week – N/A
If you get just the right glance at TK he looks a little like Ben Affleck playing Matthew McConaughey playing a surfer dude. Although sitting here writing this, I don’t remember her saying much, they seemed like a nice couple. I think the old season 9 hippie karma will favor them.

4th Place – Lorena & Jason – Dating
Last Week – N/A
Doctor Phil shout-out! Lorena seems a little umm volatile and he’s one of those silently aggressive dudes. I’m guessing sparks before too long.

5th Place – Nicolas & Donald – Grandson/Grandfather
Last Week – N/A
All American boy and cantankerous old coot. I’m sensing sitcom material here. Fox execs, are you watching? 😉

6th Place – Shana & Jennifer – Friends
Last Week – N/A
I’m sensing Hustler, Playboy, and Maxim drafting invitation letters. I’m not the type to let vane annoying beauty pageant wannabes annoy me into wishing for horrible disfiguring accidents. I am the type, however, to wish for a combination of terrible acne breakout and skin rash that cause them to be detained by health officials in a foreign country long enough to lose the race.

7th Place – Ronald & Christina – Father/Daughter
Last Week – N/A
Awww… every time I saw them this week I could just hear Paul Simon singing that father and daughter song. I’d quote it for you but every time I even do that it makes me cry. Damn that Paul Simon. The Amazing Race editors must not have been able to take it either. I saw in the previews from next week an argument a-brewing. Next theme song for these two sung by dysfunctional dad Ozzy?

8th Place – Kate & Pat – Married Ministers
Last Week – N/A
Lesbians. Ministers. Spunky elderly ladies. It’s like Golden Girls meets 7th Heaven meets, well, lesbians. I like this team. I can’t wait for them to run head-to-head with the All American Boy and Cantankerous Grand-dad. *insert hilarity ensuing here* The only problem I foresee is the 60+ age on one of the couple hindering their ability at physical tasks.

9th Place – Marianna & Julia – Sisters
Last Week – N/A
Is it really so wrong to want Shana & Jennifer to have to Jello wrestle Marianna & Julia? To the death. I think these two could be very nice or very very not-so-nice. I’m leaning toward the latter.

10th Place – Jennifer & Nathan – Dating
Last Week – N/A
Here’s how it will go with these two… “I love you, I love you!” followed by one-on-one camera interviews where they talk about how annoying they find each other and how they don’t think they could ever stay together. Rinse, lather, repeat until they finally get eliminated.

Who got kicked off?

11th Place – Ari & Staella – Best Friends
Last Week – N/A
He said it best, “Karma’s a b****. I’m an even bigger b****.” Okay, so maybe it’s a paraphrase, but stealing that cab early on in the race, gloating about it, then getting totally pwned on the first episode of the season – freaking awesome. I’m almost going to miss hating this team for a few more episodes. Almost. 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Amazing Race, TV | Comments Off on The Amazing Race Season 12 Episode 1 Recap

The Amazing Race: All-Stars – Season 11 Final Recap

Wow. The last half of season 11 recaps never got posted. I thank everyone who reads my blog for sticking by me while I was in the coma and suffering from amnesia after getting out of witness protection just after my stint with the peace corp dropping food rations to starving orphans in Bosniaparaguayiraq*cough*astan. It was all I could do to just keep things going… You’re the best two or three readers anywhere!

In the interest of continuity before I post about season 12, I hereby finally put season 11 to bed. Congratulations to Eric and Dani (who, even though they stopped dating, ran a helluva race).

The Amazing Race All Stars Eric and Danielle

For complete (ergh) information on The Amazing Race: All-Stars (Season 11), check out Wikipedia’s entry. Bet they didn’t drop food rations to starving Bosniaparaguayiraq*cough*astan orphans, though! 😉

Posted in Amazing Race, TV | 5 Comments

M&M's used to creep me out

Eating M&M’s used to creep me out – the thought of all those talking little candies being devoured alive.

Then I imagined that they were all actually spirits trapped in candy-coated chocolatey goodness and the only way they could be set free was to be eaten.

free at last

Posted in Everything Else | 3 Comments

One more reason Verizon FIOS will kick Comcast Cable internet service in the cajones.

I just moved into an apartment – no FIOS available – and signed up for Comcast’s internet service. I got a pretty good promotion for a year on the service. I notice almost immediately that it’s slower than my previous FIOS service at my last address but oh well, it’s still broadband. I call to see if there’s anything I can do. There is a “speed tier” available that will take me from 6 mb download and 384 kb upload to 8 mb download and 768 kb upload. It costs an extra $10 per month. Robbery. But I do so like my speed so I cave and call to get the service. They tell me that I can’t get the service added because they don’t have a special promotion code that would still allow me to get my one year promotional price *and* add this service ala-carte. WTF?!?!

I’m awaiting a Comcast supervisor to call to see if they’ll *allow me* to give them $10 more per month so they can rip me off with substandard internet service.

Love it.

Posted in Computers & Internet | 10 Comments

thanks to Starbucks

Starbucks

I haven’t thanked the Starbucks Gods lately and I really don’t want any bad karma.

So, thanks Starbucks! For all the goodness you provide. 😉

Hey, it beats sacrificing goats, doesn’t it?

Posted in Everything Else | 3 Comments

I want a hot juicy blog.

I want a hot juicy blog

Wait a minute… this feels all wrong.

Just because they’re doing it doesn’t mean I have to.

Why read a blog written with lame and boring content?

It’ll be all dry instead of fresh and juicy.

Lame and boring content…

This is ridiculous.

I deserve a hot juicy blog.

That’s right, you heard me, I deserve a hot juicy blog.

And not because I can tear a phone book with my bare hands.

No, i deserve a hot, juicy blog, because i have a brain, and it wants one.

So do you!

And so do you!

HOT JUICY BLOG!

HOT JUICY BLOG!

HOT JUICY BLOG!

HOT JUICY BLOG!

THAT’S RIGHT!

Posted in Everything Else | 9 Comments

Live Free or Die Hard Review

Finally, a summer movie that ROCKS. John McClain has Red Bull pumping through his veins instead of blood and kicks more butt in this movie than the other Die Hards put together.

Live Free or Die Hard Poster Red Bull

So far as other summer blockbusters, John McClain craps out movies like Pirates 3 after a late night Taco Bell run. I think the movie was supposed to open at the same time as Transformers but they pushed it up – not because they were scared of the competition, but they wanted to educate movie goers to what an action flick is all about before they drop their coinage on a bunch of CGI erector sets. For anyone who’s heart didn’t burst from the pure adrenaline rush that is Die Hard 4, why bother watching another movie this summer? John McClain f’d up the equivalent of Optimus Prime (semi) *and* Starscream (jet) all in the same movie (gotta hand it to the directors for a very subtle tip of the hat to Transformers).

Transformers die-hard-helicopter.jpg
I didn’t have a pic of the semi or jet being blown to smithereens, but here’s a helicopter. 😉

Then with his other hand he finished drinking his liquid rocket fuel espresso and proceeded to kick more bad guy butt. A remarkably agile baddie had Spidey-Jackie-Chan moves in one of many fight sequences that reached out and grabbed you by the testicles – and if you don’t have testicles, it grew you some and *then* reached out and grabbed ’em – and yanked ’em over your head just for good measure as John McClain wasted him like Aunt May through a chipper shredder.

Wimpy Spiderman Aunt May Chipper Shredder

Speaking of Spiderman 3, we got a whiny crying Mary Jane Watson singing bad Broadway tunes and fixing omelette’s. Die Hard 4 gives us a crazy butt-kicking Asian hottie *and* John McClain’s tough as nails daughter who, if removed from this film, could have single handedly taken care of the Silver Surfer without any of you having to waste your money on the Fantastic Four Flop summer sequel.

Mary Jane cries again Asian Butt Kicking Henchwoman Die Hard 4 - Mary Elizabeth.jpg Fantastic Flop

The guy from the Mac/PC commercials did a fair job as McClane’s hacker sidekick who consistently hacked those unsecured PC’s throughout the film (once again I say to the directors, *very* subtle and funny). To be fair, however, I never saw him take out an iPhone in the film so take that Steve Jobs! Homage to 12 Monkeys with Bruce’s bald headed look and references to scenes like the elevator shaft, agent Johnson, and Yippy Kay Yay from other Die Hard films were all noted and appreciated.

Mac PC Guys 12 Monkeys Agent Johnson

I’ve read some other reviews slamming this Die Hard sequel for nonsensical plot and improbably action scenes. Umm, hello!!! It’s a Die Hard movie! This movie delivers exactly what you want from a Die Hard movie. Fans angry that the f-bomb part of the “Yippy Kay Yay” line was drowned out by a gunshot need to stop their bellyaching because this way the film is accessible to take your kids to so you don’t have to go see awful tripe like Bridge to Terabithia which only wants to turn your children into pansies that couldn’t even get a part as dead body extras in a Die Hard film.

Bridge to Terabithia Vomit

Lastly worth noting is that Bruce Willis did a lot of his own stunts and at 50-some years old he must have a member made of dynamite that he blows up in your face and then regenerates and does it all over again because I think I pulled a muscle just watching this film. If you prefer the mosh pit over Dancing with the Stars, then get to the theater immediately, strap yourself in, and have fun watching this flick.

Thumbs Up

Posted in Everything Else | 3 Comments

Live Free or Die Hard – please please please

Oh Gods of the movies, please let this summer sequel rock!

Reasons to watch no matter what…

John McClane…

die-hard-bruce-willis.jpg

Stunning visuals…

Die Hard 4 - Meggie Q.jpg Die Hard 4 - Mary Elizabeth.jpg

Oops… I meant, STUNNING VISUALS!

die-hard-helicopter.jpg

“I was out of bullets.” This one has to go down with “Yippy Kay Yay Mother F’er.” 😉

*pray*

*pray*

*pray*

Posted in Everything Else | Comments Off on Live Free or Die Hard – please please please

gwen stefani is evil

gwen stefani sucks for making me like her music. ac/dc is going to kick my ass next time i see them.

gwen stefani AC DC

Posted in Everything Else | 5 Comments