Author Archives: Scott

A Wise Man Judges…

A wise man judges by understanding the path. A fool judges only by the shoes.

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What Men Know About Women

The more men know about women, the more… Wait-a-minute… There is absolutely nothing I can follow that up with. Men don’t know anything about women. Well, okay, men – and I’m talking a small subset here – know a little … Continue reading

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Women on Women (not what you think)

Women are right about other women 100% of the time. Guys – Do not question it. Do not spend time thinking about it. Accept it. buy cialis overnight delivery viagra money order viagra online

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Going with the Flow

Sometimes you go with the flow… and sometimes the flow takes you.

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Eviscerated

Eviscerated is really quite a lovely word. It’s fun to say – try it… Come on, really say it. Let it roll off your tounge a few times. Wet your lips and and say it slow and low – pretend … Continue reading

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The Wisdom of Flies

I was watching a fly in the bathroom buzzing back and forth flying repeatedly into a mirror on the wall and then into a mirror on the vanity. I chuckled after a half dozen or so collisions and felt so … Continue reading

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The Blog Returns!

Well well well… Rip van blogger finally woke up. I stopped writing for so long I feel like what I’d imagine someone with a horrible leg injury might feel once they finally were able to walk again. No offense meant … Continue reading

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Carnival Mirrors

I contend that as you get older someone replaces all the mirrors in your house with carnival mirrors.

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The Blog is Back!

The blog is back! *insert chirping crickets here* It might be quicker if I just called both of you.

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Moving to a New Server

Moving to a new server… The blog will be unavailable for a few days. So, the two of you out there talk amongst yourselves for a little bit and I’ll be back soon. Did anybody ever notice the echo in … Continue reading

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Creative Writing and Brain Synapses

Late night MTV, a laptop, and broadband Internet access. I’d write something creative if I had any brain synapses left.

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New Show Called Reruns

There’s a new show on TV named “Reruns.” They rehash old television sitcom scripts word for word in a Saturday Night Live setting. It absolutely amazes me the power a laugh-track still has on the American viewer’s psyche. You think … Continue reading

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George Bush and the War on Terrorism

George W. Bush and the “War on Terrorism” (insert CNN patriotic graphics and James Earl Jones sound-byte here) is out of control. I’m as patriotic as the next guy – my flag was purchased well before September 11th. I even … Continue reading

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Top 10 Signs You might be a Player

Top 10 Signs You Might Be A Player (male) #10 – You use the term “bagged” outside of the grocery #9 – “Chatting her up” is a well used social tool #8 – Your cologne is named Machiavelli #7 – … Continue reading

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Episode of Meet My Parents

Will surprises never end? I watched an episode of Meet My Parents – a reality TV show where three guys stay with a girl and her parents and are systematically eliminated from the dating pool – and it solidly did … Continue reading

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Verne Troyer Haunts Me

I made a Verne Troyer joke the other day. Verne is one of the most talented actors (he is the vertically challenged member of the Austin Powers cast) to hit the big screen since Oz. Plus, Verne has a beautiful … Continue reading

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What happened to medium?

What happened to medium? SMALL, LARGE, and FAMILY-SIZE REGULAR, BIGGIE, and SUPER-SIZE TAD-SMALLER-THAN-MEDIUM, PRETENDING-NOT-TO-BE-MEDIUM, and OH-MY-GAWD Can we not regulate fast food restaurants? If they have three sizes, then THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE IS MEDIUM!!!

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FOX Wants Politics and American Idol

I got a call last night. FOX broadcasting wants to buy the rights to my idea for running political races in the same format as their new smash hit American Idol! They’ve even reinstituted the swim-suit competition to draw in … Continue reading

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Taco Bell Anytime

http://www.topsecretrecipes.com Now you can have that Taco Bell indigestion any time without ever leaving your own house!

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Morgan Fairchild

How old is Morgan Fairchild anyway? I did a little searching on the ‘net and found a birth date of February 3rd, 1950. Have any of you been watching the Old Navy commercials recently? Ponce de Leon had it all … Continue reading

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