Scott Cramer wrote this.

(1) I called my brother early in the morning this April 1st Saturday (adding to the realism because I’m not normally up early in the morning – especially on Saturday – and not to mention that in an early morning state he would be more susceptible to my April 1st ruse). I told him that I could not view any of the sites on our web-hosting server. Not only that, but none of the files were there. Not only that, but our hosting company was telling me that there was a problem with our backups and they did not have any restore data. I then went into a panicked dialogue about having some of the data downloaded, but not everything and what did he have and was he near a computer and I didn’t know what to do!!! As he was making his way to his computer, I imagine he looked a little something like this…

At about the same time he discovers the sites are still alive and well, I’m yelling “APRIL FOOLS!” into the phone. hehe…

(2) The old rubberband the sink sprayer trick!

My girlfriend’s daughter can be rather impish. Having to wipe down the floor with a towel was well worth watching her turn on the sink and get totally soaked by the sprayer.

(3) I filled a plastic glass with water, tied a shoestring around the bottom, placed it in a kitchen cabinet, and taped the other end of the shoestring on the inside of the cabinet door. Follow me here… Girlfriend’s daughter (you remember, the impish one) goes to get breakfast, opens the door, and…

More toweling off the floor… but still worth it.

Happy April Fool’s Day! 

You do not look cool!

You all look like this guy.

So, stop it.

So, like, I’m in the used bookstore and I see this book on Adobe.

Which product? What version???

I opened it up and umm… well… it *was* Adobe.

Mud huts. Version 1.0.

I’m such a geek.

The entire scope of the universe…

…summed up at the Border’s discount table.

Both books 50% off too.

Saw “V for Vendetta” – and whoa. Story with social commentary, special effects action, *and* cool factor. It’ll be good on DVD but if you happen to read this, SEE IT ON THE BIG SCREEN!

“People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.”

Here are some posters and a couple shots of the character “V” – just because I’m jazzed about the film and want to post them.

Click on any of the pics for a larger image…

How not to move a parked car.

A week or two ago one of the delivery drivers at our warehouse was on a run and “name deleted to protect the guilty” needed to move his car so a semi could back in to the delivery dock.

Sane person says, “Leave parked car alone and drive the forklift out to the semi for the one or two pallets being dropped off.”

“Name deleted to protect the guilty” says, “Put a wooden pallet under the car and jack it up with the forklift!” *insert Tim Allen manly laugh here*

They stopped when the car was off the ground and a loud *SNAP* echoed across the parking lot and into the warehouse. Hopefully it was just the wooden pallet with a several ton car sitting on it. Gee, I would have thought that would hold just fine.

Me, I park in the grass now.

Is there an opposite to spontaneous combustion? Because if I pee one more time today, there’s not going to be much left to me.

That’ll teach you to pay more attention to my blog titles.

I went to the Indiana state Pokemon championship today. My girlfriend’s daughter was playing. I expected only 10 to 13-year-old kids. They were there, but I was surprised by the number of teenagers AND ADULTS. The brackets were for under 10, 11-14, and 15 years and up! Now I know where all the Star Trek and a Doctor Who fans go when there aren’t any conventions.

To be fair, I’ve been to both a Star Trek *and* Doctor Who convention. I miss the geek camaraderie – but could have done without the reminder of how sweaty pre-teens and socially awkward adults smell. Still, all-in-all it was a very good group of people having a lot of fun with something they’re passionate about.

I should have asked how many of them blog…

I found this picture on the ‘net last week.

“Blue” – Original painting by Catherine Jo Morgan.

It’s been stuck in my head. This painting is neither dark nor foreboding. It’s actually quite colorful, yet there’s an obvious and inescapable crack of sadness that runs through it.

On a “normal” schedule, my 5-year-old daughter is with me 3 out of every 14 days.

It’s hard to explain. The 11 days she isn’t here I still laugh and love – and I speak to her almost every night. I am blessed with a wonderful girlfriend, family, and friends who I love and who love me. Yet I can’t escape that every day, there is a part of me too that will always be broken.

I was walking through Sam’s Club and I don’t care how old I am.

A huge pile of Ding Dongs still makes me laugh.

Almost as much as Keith’s Bootyville comment.