Scott Cramer wrote this.

Geez… I never knew having two readers could be so problematic. I have been told that in one fell swoop I’ve disrespected both religion and women (12/29 post, actually referring to and obviously degrading further the original 12/27 post/notification). I can only imagine how bad it would have been had I made the wheelchair joke that was rattling around in my brain.

Just a quick disclaimer – though it would probably be quicker and more effective if I just called both of you – about these concerns but here goes. I do not disrespect religion, however I do disprespect the hypocrisy inherent in so many organized religions – but to be fair to organized religions, at least they are trying and I’d rather see the world with flaws moving forward than with nothing at all and sinking backward. I’m sure Christina Aguilera could benefit from the tutelage of a Catholic nun or Zen Buddhist Monk – different wisdom for different folks. I won’t claim to know what works best for any individual – but on the flipside, I won’t have them claim it for me either.

Disclaimer, part deux – I was in no way intending disrespect for women. I was poking more fun at the ability of a person to become an ordained reverend in “Just three minutes” to quote from their site. Side note: Truthfully it’s more like 30 seconds unless you type really slow or have to change into special robes before submitting the form. I’ll leave it stand as it is – a piece of sarcastic Internet humor posted in amusement regarding the world around us.

Besides, why do guys do anything? You really think Og invented fire to better the tribe and help warm up the sabre tooth leftovers? No, he did it for the chicks.

Rev Scott

[The preceding post and events that led up to it respectfully dedicated to Sam K. Halo and Horns, Sam! Peace.]

A few days ago I posted my official certification or ordination as a reverend in the ULC.

Let’s see… I got comments like “You are so weird sometimes” and “I’m speechless!”

I figure I’d better explain myself so people don’t get the wrong idea and think I’m disrespecting religion.

The truth is, I did it for the chicks.

Respectfully,
Reverend Scott

ps, I am available for one on one religious consultation to females in the tri-state area ages 27 to 37. All sins absolved before I drop you off at home.

What does it mean when someone gives you shampoo as a Christmas gift?

I guess I should feel good that it wasn’t mouthwash.

This Christmas season I was feeling… well… like I needed something more in my life. That plus late nights and the Internet and low and behold (I can officially say things like that now) I have added entitlement to my spirituality.

Okay, okay… but I found another Coupling quote (from the great BRITISH original series) that I *had* to post.

When man invented fire, he didn?t say, ‘hey, let?s cook’, he said, ‘great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark.’
-Steve Taylor (actor Jack Davenport)

Actually, my friend Ken came up with this first but he made me swear not to tell anyone he uses the word “bottoms”.

I recently found out that someone read one of my blog entries and took it quite seriously. After the initial surprise that anyone was actually reading anything here I was really quite amused at someone’s concern that I’d be talking about “a truckload of hookers” (8/6/03 entry).

1 – Who are we kidding here… someone actually took me seriously? 😉

2 – Umm… Movie reference (The Dirty Dozen). Guess everybody else is too busy reading War & Peace while I’ve got the late night movie channel playing in the background.

3 – After thinking about it… What could possibly be wrong about a truckload of hookers anyway? Well, unless they were butt ugly, of course.

Hopefully this takes care of any more concerns with my moral standing.

Or my sense of sarcasm.

“No army can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has come.”
-Victor Hugo

Farewell to John Ritter (9/11/03) and Johnny Cash (9/12/03).

If your name is John I think I’d stay home today and avoid anything even remotely dangerous.

It is very very wrong to walk into a men’s public restroom whistling YMCA.

It’s sad when you double the value of your car by putting in a full tank of gas.

I know how to make troublesome employees work together as a team!

First you take away all their razors and soap. Then you only give them cold water. When they start cooperating, you bring in a truckload of hookers and spring for some cheap booze.

Oh yeah, and let ’em throw hand grenades occasionally.

Ah, if life were only more like The Dirty Dozen.

Anybody else notice the prominant labeling on a woman’s Gap t-shirt?

I hear there’s a new brand of jeans named Crack coming out soon too…

“Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.”
– Lewis Grizzard

On the plus side you could say you’re getting a lot of tail…

“Statistics are just like mini-skirts, they give you good ideas but hide the most important thing.”
– Ebbe Skovdahl, Danish Football Manager

They hide a good personality and sense of humor???
😉

I was driving my three year old daughter Maddie and her four year old cousin Luke to go see a movie. The first theatre was sold out and we were on our way to a less busy theatre – and we were about a half hour early for the next showing.

Luke asked, “What if the next theatre is sold out?”

I replied, “It won’t be.”

He then asked, “How do you know?”

Factoring in that he was only four, I replied, “I just know things.”

He immediately shot back to me, “Uncle Scott, you’re an adult. Adults don’t know anything!”

I think he won.

New children’s television sensation – “The Wiggles”.
Think Sesame Street crossed with The Monkees with a sprinkle of Scooby Doo.

Yes, I’ve been watching a lot of kid’s shows lately. 😉

“Dora the Explorer” is a highly rated children’s show praised for it’s educational value. Without it, how else would parents know it’s okay to use a monkey as a babysitter and let your child roam around alone in the jungle?

I saw a commercial for boneless buffalo wings.
All I could think was, “Duh, of course they’d need wings if they didn’t have any bones.”

Why is it that we let children eat vitamins shaped like their favorite cartoon characters but we frown upon cannibalism?