Smart Microwaves Part II

I called work from home today and got “R” (NAME WITHHELD TO PROTECT THE MICROWAVE CHALLENGED – see last post). We chatted for a minute and she asked me, “Can you tell the difference between bottled water and sink water?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“Me too! “A” (NAME WITHHELD BECAUSE SHE’S R’S FRIEND) said that it was just because I was sick.”

Since we’ve still been kidding “R” about the microwave incident, I added, “No, you can tell the difference. Especially if you put it in the microwave.” Ha ha, I thought. However, I got no immediate sarcastic reply or “You jerk” out of her like every other time I’ve joked about the microwave. So, I started chuckling.

“HEY! I took you serious again. I thought it would start bubbling or something in the microwave.”

Waiting for it…

“You jerk.”

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Smart Microwaves

The last several times someone has fixed popcorn in the office microwave, the circuit breaker has popped, taking down computers and throwing us into darkness.

My brother and I were working today and one of the girls poked her head into our office and asked, “Does the microwave only blow the power if you fix popcorn or can I fix something else?”

Stifling a laugh, I replied – somewhat sarcastically mind you – “Yes, it can tell the difference inside between popcorn and anything else.” She turned and walked away. That was that, I figured.

When she passed by our office on her way back to her desk, she saw us smiling at her. She continued where she left off on the first trip, adding an explanation, “Don’t laugh! I wasn’t sure if it made a difference with the popcorn popping inside the microwave and all that.”

Laughing openly this time, I told her, “Yeah, the popping of the corn sends vibrations through the microwave that go out the power cord causing an overload.”

I’m not sure which I noticed first, the lightbulb go on over her head, or the embarrassed look on her face. “Hey!” she said, “I was serious about the power question!”

More laughter from both my brother and me.

“And,” not that I thought it could go any further, she continued, “I thought you were serious when you told me the microwave knew the difference if it was popcorn!!!”

We were laughing so hard at this point, we couldn’t even duck. 😉

Editors note:
We love you R! (NAME WITHHELD TO PROTECT THE MICROWAVE CHALLENGED)

My brother’s version of the story is here. I agree. I’m glad we don’t sell microwaves…

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Guns and McGriddles

I drove by the scene of a shooting this morning. I cut through the neighborhood across from mine to get to the main roads. On the edge of the neighborhood, in a small diner’s parking lot there was a figure rolling back and forth slowly on the ground with several people clustered about. A short heavyset black woman must have come out of the diner and it looked like she had blood on her apron. A firetruck barreled into the parking lot from an entrance to the right of my car after deciding at the last minute not to turn on the street where I was sitting and squish me. No less than three of the people at the scene immediately pointed to a black mass on the ground that I had already noticed nobody would go anywhere near. I don’t see a lot of guns littered about on the highway when I’m driving but I’m pretty sure that’s what it was. A pickup pulled up behind me at that moment and I had to move along. A couple blocks down the road and I was sitting at a McDonald’s drive-through ordering a McGriddle.

Now I’m sitting in the office at my laptop. There’s a shooting victim somewhere in a hospital emergency room or morgue. Somewhere else someone who pulled a trigger feels guilty, scared, callous, arrogant, maybe a combination, maybe nothing. The black woman from the diner is probably relating the story to the morning breakfast crowd while her apron soaks in a washroom sink. There’s a gun in a plastic evidence bag sitting in a squad car on it’s way to the crime lab or headquarters or whatever they call in real life what I only know from television cop dramas. I’m washing down the last bits of my McGriddle with water from a plastic tiki-head cup and there’s a blood stain in a parking lot waiting to fry in the mid day sun.

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Sign of the Times

“I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. Corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until the wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed.”

Sounds like current events, doesn’t it?

Try Abraham Lincoln 1863.

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Rock Star: INXS

Rock Star: INXS is down to the final six. I could just watch these people perform onstage week after week. If the “losers” don’t get full time fabulous careers after the last episode, I say bring ’em all back and keep playing!

This show blew away any expectations I had about INXS meets American Idol. American who? Head to head, Rock Star would drive American Idol into the ground *AND* break a guitar over their heads just for style. I even envision Ozzy swooping down from the rafters like a giant black cloud and biting the head off Simon Cowell. Ah, but I digress… Pleasantly…

I’m going to be sad to see the show end. I’ll be looking forward to a new INXS album fronted by *ANY* of the remaining singers. I’ve got a theory that INXS might pick two singers – a male and a female. They already have, like, 16 band members, so why not? But after the last episode, I don’t see much chance for a Rock Star: INXS – SEASON 2, Roadie Auditions!

So, CBS, can you get ahold of Eddie Van Halen? Try the dinner theatres in Florida. Maybe you can help them find a singer next…

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Embrace Change

My brother got one of the new nickels from the gas station – the one with the return of the buffalo on the back and the big off-center president head on the front. The gas station attendant told him they were thinking about not making this one anymore because people didn’t like it.

If this is actually true, I have one thing to say to these people…

EMBRACE CHANGE! 😉

(stole Keith’s joke so it’s his fault)

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Wedding Music Hell

My brother/business partner is compiling some music for a friend’s wedding. Right now he’s checking the songs before burning them to a CD. This means he has to play them all. Someone already walked into the office with a question while Shania Twain was singing some sickening love song. Now, Barney’s “I Love You” (hey, it’s not *my* wedding!) is playing. This is so entirely gay.

If he doesn’t play some pre-sellout Metallica and Kid Rock to balance this out, I’m going to have to kill him. Softly. Probably to a background melody by Harry Connick, Jr. or Marc Cohn at this rate. It will be a mercy killing. He’ll understand.

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eBay Sucks

eBay sucks. Any more it’s like going to a garage sale looking for a “cool find” and discovering it’s all the same junk you can find at K-Mart – only more expensive since some fool thinks the whole auction concept is still a great deal and pushes the bid higher than retail.

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Diet Chocolate Rabbit Droppings

I don’t know which is worse… Taking a drink of a soda and finding out it’s actually DIET soda or biting into what you think is a chocolate covered raisin and it’s actually a chocolate covered COFFEE BEAN. Grr. I *hate* coffee!

What did you think I was going to say when I mentioned chocolate covered raisin? You people are sick sick sick. I don’t even own a rabbit.

😉

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poem: sleep

sleep

now i lay me down to sleep
i pray that death my soul won’t keep
for the me that goes away
awakes not to the brand new day

eyes that open on the dawn
and hand that turns off my alarm
echo of a day that’s past
but is no more just like the last

in grand scope my path is set
and the generals don’t forget
but nameless who the hills do crest
daily they are laid to rest

(scott william cramer, 2004)

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Lazy Days of Indian Summer

Ah, yes… The lazy days of Indian Summer. All the windows in the house are open. A gentle breeze billows out the curtains carrying the sound of cicadas singing their fall song, a lonely train whistle far in the background, and as a special treat in my neighborhood, the incessant screaming of ignorant rednecks. Sigh.

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Halle Berry's Catwoman

Halle Berry’s “Catwoman” only got one star.

hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Wait…

hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Oh well. Like she cares. With her paycheck, she can just keep her top on and BUY her next Oscar.

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The “Oldies”

It’s not like a bunch of balding ex-hippies havn’t said it before, but it sucks to hear one of your favorite tunes on the radio and have the DJ say,

“18 YEARS AGO today that was a hit for…”

Sigh.

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Catwoman / Stripperella

Halle Berry as Catwoman Pamela Anderson as Stripperella

Catwoman, Stripperella. Stripperella, Catwoman.

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My Rant on Lindows/Linspire & Microsoft

I am extremely disappointed and quite uninspired by the Lindows / Linspire settlement with Microsoft. The past year has been filled with David vs. Goliath hype from Michael Robertson about taking Microsoft to court and turning them on their head with regards to their trademark of the generic “windows” term. Somehow I don’t see a SECRET SETTLEMENT helping any other little guy against Microsoft and what Michael Robertson used to say was an ill-gotten “windows” trademark.

Perhaps this means that Lindows, oops, I mean Linspire, may get a “free” ride when Microsoft squashes all opensource software (i.e., anything not Microsoft controlled). For reference, visit http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/12.07/linux.html – Wired’s story about SCO’s Darl McBride. Who knows. Hey Michael Moore, can we get a Fahrenheit 911 on the software industry? Maybe you can trace it back to Bin Laden too.

I wonder if Michael Robertson of MS Linspire gets to share the secret Microsoft vacation home with Scott McNealy of MS Sun Microsystems? When you’re changing your Lindows bookmarks to Linspire please note the correct usage of the “MS” as outlined in this paragraph. I hear “MS” is the new corporate equivalent of the silent “b” in “lamb” – or maybe the silent “g” in “slaughter”.

Reference:
From the http://www.linspire.com/lindows_news_pressreleases.php page announcing the Lindows / Microsoft settlement.

—begin—
Microsoft and Lindows Settle Trademark Case

REDMOND, Wash., and SAN DIEGO ? July 19, 2004 ? Lindows.com and Microsoft Corp. today jointly announced that a worldwide settlement has been reached in the trademark infringement cases between the two companies.

“This case was centered on the fundamentals of international trademark law and our necessary efforts to protect the Windows? trademark against infringement,” said Tom Burt, corporate vice president and deputy general counsel for Microsoft. “This settlement addresses those concerns, and we are pleased that Lindows will now compete in the marketplace with a name distinctly its own.”

“We are pleased to resolve this litigation on terms that make business sense for all parties,? said Michael Robertson, CEO of Lindows, Inc. ?Over the next few months Lindows will cease using the term Lindows and transition to Linspire globally as our company name and primary identifier for our operating system product.”

The settlement agreement resolves all claims in this litigation, both in the United States and internationally. Terms of the settlement are confidential.
—end (yeah, that’s an understatement)—

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Blog Revolution?

This post is in reply to an article and commentary that appears on David Gulbransen’s “Preaching to the Perverted” blog. Click here for the original post and comments. Check back there for any additional comments too.

I’ve been thinking about David’s post throughout the day today. The idea of the blog as a journal or diary or even a column is not new or revolutionary. However, although it *is* in many cases journal, diary, or column, the blog – which is really just a web based form of all of these – actually does become a lot more *because* of the blog’s ease of publication, wide reach, and permanence.

Ease of publication.
I’m sure there’s no argument from anyone on this. With services like Radio and Blogger (to name just two) you write, click, and publish. I think it would take me more effort to find where I put a paper journal, then find a working pen, open the cover, and actually start the manual process of writing. These days, at least for me, I type faster than I write and the tennis elbow actually prefers to avoid the strain of using a pen. Heck, without blogs, I’d never be replying to Dave’s idea and this conversation wouldn’t exist – especially if his article was in a printed publication. I’m not really a “letter to the editor” kind of guy.

Wide reach.
The Internet vs. a paper journal on my bedside table. I’m not sure I’m zoned for that much traffic through my bedroom. No comments from the peanut gallery, please.

Permanence.
Historians are going to have a field day with all the archived blog material – even within the next generation. Think about what we have from the World War II era. We have popular media in the form of newspaper articles and newsreels for the most part. Part of the problem with that is the very essence of popular media is, well, it’s POPULAR media. Remember that, on the whole, history is written by the victors and everything else gets buried. Aside from the popular media, we go absolutely gaga when we come across written personal accounts – caches of letters, memos, and soldier’s diaries, for example. Can you say Anne Frank’s diary? Just imagine if we had archived blogs from around the world from this time period!

It sounds kind of silly but all of us who blog have become in some way social historians. What we write is commentary on our life and times. Yes, even the inane stuff – which is kind of the equivalent of pottery shards to archaeologists, I suppose.

At first I kind of agreed with Dave on pooh-poohing the revolution and just wanted to point out the merits of blogging on writing, reading, and learning. But then I started thinking, what is a revolution? I did the lazy man’s Google-definition and got the following:

“Revolution: a drastic and far-reaching change in ways of thinking and behaving.”

The very stats Dave presented on how many blogs there are and how quickly they are being created is pretty extreme and quite a force if you consider the sheer amount of words and ideas being pushed out for public consumption. “Extreme” and “forceful”, if you do another Google definition, are the words that come up when you define “drastic”. So far as “far-reaching” – I’m writing to an Internet crowd, so come on, no contest. When it comes to “thinking and behaving” – once again I point to the stats. With the sheer number of blogs in existence and so many being created every day, I’d say there’s a definite affect on thought and behavior.

I think Dave and I and a lot of the people we know are pretty jaded when it comes to tech and we especially don’t buy into a lot of media dogma on matters in our own backyard. Not to mention it feels silly to me, at least, to walk around talking about a “revolution”. I feel like grabbing a loaf of French bread and talking about the bourgeois and proletariat. To our savvy group, the internet plus writing is kind of a “duh” concept. However, after considerable thought on this topic, I’m left with one thing.

Viva la revolution! 😉

Posted in Blogging | 3 Comments

tech info: State of Indiana Surprisingly Progressive

Havn’t tried this yet. Sounds progressive for the midwest. 😉

—begin cut/paste—
———————————————————-
Indiana Residents Get Free Software
———————————————————-
http://snipurl.com/7eg2

(25 Jun) The State of Indiana is offering residents free software and
remote storage for personal files. Remote applications include email,
file management, file and group sharing and printing. In addition,
residents can download software for word processing, spreadsheets and
managing calendars and contacts. Indiana public libraries and the
Department of Workforce Development will support the applications from
public access terminals. Wow!

myLocal.IN.gov
http://www.in.gov/mylocal
(Indiana residents should start here.)

SimIndiana
http://www.simindiana.com
(Read about the program.)
—end cut/paste—

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Rambling about Politics & Teeth

What struck me most when I saw this picture of Democratic candidates John Kerry and John Edwards had nothing to do with Democrats or Republicans. I just saw lots of teeth. I don’t have a thing for teeth or anything like that, but I don’t remember thinking “teeth” in politics since Jimmy Carter ran for president. Although it *is* kind of strange that they don’t have bottom teeth – they more than make up for it with the top choppers. I vote for the best person – or lesser of two evils it seems lately – so I don’t consider myself Republican or Democrat. I say this because my next statement seems very anti-Republican (and it’s really just anti-person-who-happens-to-be-Republican). When I see Bush on TV I tune him out automatically and I just have to contend with his image until I can find the remote (ps, thank goodness for cable and lots of channels). End result, without all the chatter, you notice that he never really smiles more than that closed tight-lipped thing. Modeling must have been right out thusly forcing him into a political career. Either that or after Republican scientists spent so much money cloning senior Bush’s DNA, they couldn’t justify just throwing it away.

Because I didn’t feel like working, and I couldn’t get the tooth thing out of my head (I’m easily distracted) I looked up Democrat Jimmy and his Republican (lost the race in 1976) opponent Gerald.

Jimmy. Lots of teeth. Does the Democratic party have dentists on the campaign-trail bus or what?

You know, you could just photoshop swap the Bush/Ford smile and nobody would be the wiser. Freaky. Okay, freaky in my current bizzare procrastinating-work state of mind.

So, being the political expert that I am, I predict the election – not withstanding all the war and economy stuff you hear about on CNN – based strictly on enamel-power and going to the Democrats.

Too little, too late. 😉

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The Self-Employment Song

The Self-Employment Song

Self Employment! Self Employment!
Oh what would I do without you?
Probably eat.

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One More Profile of Me

Wackiness: 52/100
Rationality: 52/100
Constructiveness: 68/100
Leadership: 28/100

You are an SECF–Sober Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a hippie. You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you’ve made up your mind, no one can convince you otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.

You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to be taken lightly. You don’t get mad, you get even.

Please don’t get even with this web site.

Hmm… maybe one shouldn’t take these quizes so fast. But then again, I’m a hippie, so what the heck. And don’t argue with me – I’ll cut ‘ya! With an eco-friendly knife that I’m very sure about, though. 😉

Quiz was from here. Thanks Amy for providing me with yet another distraction.

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