Monthly Archives: June 2006

Does anyone else look in the toilet before you flush or am I just weird and all alone on this one? You know, like looking in the Kleenex before you totally crumple it up and throw it away. I *KNOW* … Continue reading →

Some days you’re the artist. Some days you’re the sidewalk.

The fine print reads: Land includes spacious underground workshop complete with latest alien technology. Germ free alien autopsy room kitchen newly tiled to cover up green alien goo. Will throw in fixer-upper UFO German concept car no charge. I’m *SO* … Continue reading →

Looks more like a one fingered salute to Stevie Wonder. Maybe they shouldn’t have hired a blind graphic designer.

I was brushing my six-year-old daughter’s hair after her shower and she asks me out of the blue, “Why do you have fur?” I told her that boys just grow more hair than girls. She pets the hair on my … Continue reading →

I program thousands of lines of code, implement dynamic database driven websites, and create marketing campaigns, but you know what I get noticed for? I took a cardboard box, a knife, and some scotch tape and made a deflector for … Continue reading →

What guys think. What women want?

Bath and Body Works. Approximately 5,965 scents for women. 3 for men. For Father’s Day. On Sale. And they smelled like bad deodorant.

My girlfriend read my post on fashion the other day and found this book for me at a garage sale. Ha ha. I opened it up and the first picture looked strangely like the coat I bought this winter. Plus, … Continue reading →

My girlfriend keeps asking me questions like, “Is this what you mean by a shirt with more cleavage?” and “Do you think this shirt is too dressy to go garage sale’ing?” C’mon! What do guys really know about fashion? I … Continue reading →

Have you ever been pulling out an eyelash with tweezers and thought what if someone opened the bathroom door and slammed me in the back jamming the tweezers right into my eyeball? *shiver* I hate that feeling.