Scott Cramer wrote this.

4th of July - Independence Day - We shoot off fireworks to celebrate our independence and freedom. It’s a celebration of and for the U.S.A. Right?

In the middle of our family fireworks, one explosion sent a small package skyward. As it started to fall back down again, a small parachute opened and a series of flags drifted gently to the ground.

Umm… What the heck? Since when did China and Japan co-celebrate all the ideals and freedoms of our 4th of July holiday? AND their flags get top billing over Old Glory herself?

I’m not mister patriotism…

…but c’mon! Redneck Monster Trucks and Nascar would make more sense than China and Japan! I’m surprised the fireworks company didn’t engineer it so that the American flag caught fire on the way down.

I found an instance where “the 5 second rule” for food hitting the floor doesn’t apply.

My girlfriend and I were preparing a cheese fondue. She was carrying over the package of special (meaning more expensive than you’d normally pay for) crackers we were going to use for dipping. The package shifted in her hands and dumped a good portion of them on the kitchen floor.

I hurriedly picked up the crackers and said, “Don’t worry, I’ll eat these ones.” I knew full well that she never lets food that hits the floor go anywhere but the trash can.

“Ok.” she said.

About halfway through the fondue, I said, “So, since these were more expensive crackers, the 5 second rule doesn’t apply?”

She looked at me with a little half smile.

“And,” I added, “it’s okay for *me* to eat the floor crackers? You were actually *counting* on me to say I’d eat the floor crackers, weren’t you?”

The smile never leaving her face, she said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Besides, I swept.”

“No you didn’t!”

In a very childlike “oops you caught me” voice, she replied, “Yesterday…”

“Uh-huh,” I said as I continued eating my floor crackers - dipping each one that I’d picked up off the floor into the same fondue pot that she was using. “Don’t worry about it.”