I saw this at the meat counter. It was funny, yet disturbing (click the image for a larger version).
I guess I’m a hypocritical carnivore. I’ll eat it, but I don’t want to be reminded of what it looked like when it was alive!
Archive for July, 2006
Check this out… Download your next camera!
Linatree claims to have made the first free downloadable pinhole camera that you can print out, cut out, and assemble.
This is the coolest paper-based project on the web since Origami Boulder. 
The other night at bedtime, my daughter and I were playing a questions and answers game. I asked her, “What kind of things do you really like?”
Here are the things she listed - in order:
Princesses
Ducks
You
Hair stuff
Eye stuff
Makeup
Well… At least I got 3rd place.
When you reach down to turn up the volume on the car radio and the knob won’t turn any farther, then you *know* it’s a good song.
(”Land of Confusion” cover by Disturbed, in case you were wondering - and at the time this was written, you could stream the song from their site *hint hint*)
Okay, who knew? I guess I’ve had my head buried in the sand or something. Someone sent me a spammy message with pictures of an indoor ski facility in Dubai. Aside from the slanted “this is why gas is $3 a gallon so they can ski in the desert” message, it actually looked pretty darn cool.
Ski Dubai Resort Map (click for larger pic):
Ski Dubai Outside Pic (click for larger pic):
Ski Dubai Inside Pic (click for larger pic):
From the Ski Dubai official site, “Ski Dubai in Dubai Emirates Mall started in December 2005 is the worlds third largest indoor ski slope, measuring 400 meters and using 6000 tons of snow.” This place just opened up in December 2005 so I was giving myself a *little* leeway in not hearing the latest Dubai ski news, not being either a skiier or from Dubai - but third largest???
I did a little searching and it turns out these things are all over the place. It looks like the Dubai facility is the most grand (even if it is 3rd largest) but I’d expect that since it’s the newest.
So far as the spammy message I got showing the Dubai indoor ski slope and complaining about $3 per gallon gas, well, maybe we shouldn’t be so negative since we have our very own U.S. facility in the works. It will be part of a huge entertainment complex in the New Jersey Meadowlands and - insert American pride here - it will most likely blow the socks off anything anywhere else in the world from what I saw at their official webpage.
People in glass houses (building mammoth entertainment complexes and indoor ski slopes of their own) shouldn’t throw stones.
It looked like an innocent bunny lawn ornament. Until we picked it up…
I was getting into my car and a “FOR SALE” sign caught my eye on the motorcycle in the next parking space. “$1,600 + Helmut”??? I got a chuckle out of the misspelling. Maybe the rider had taken one too many spills without his “HELMET”.
However, when I looked at the pictures again later…
…maybe not!
I was feeling a little under the weather so I put a movie in for my daughter and layed down on the couch. Part way through the movie she came up to me and said she’d take care of me.
“Aww, cute” I thought.
She proceeded to climb up on top of me sticking her knee into my upset stomach and squishing my arm. “Ooph!” But it was only for a second and she settled in.
“Let me look at your eyes.” she said. Then she pressed her thumb into the top of my right eyelid and peeled it up and around the back of my head.
“A little more gentle doctor!” I told her.
“Okay.” She took the other eyelid and peeled it up only so far as my forehead. Then she put a small plastic compact on top of my left eye with the mirror facing down. As I peered into my eye at close range she told me to “Say ahh!” and looked into my mouth. “I know what you need to feel better.” she told me, and then disappeared up the stairs. “You need a baby in your stomach. That will make you feel better.” she called down.
“Huh?”
She came down the stairs with one of her babydolls and shoved it underneath my t-shirt. She crawled on top of me again, and this time pushed the “new baby” into my stomach with her knee.
“Ooph!” I repeated. “Careful doctor.”
She then pulled the blanket down off the back of the couch to cover me up - taking special care to double it up on top of me so as to block out 100% of the very nice feeling air conditioning. “Whew…”
“Here Dad, lift up your head.” and she pulled my head up off the pillow. She took out a plastic silver beaded necklace with a large purple jeweled amulet and secured it around my neck.
“Thanks honey.”
“You nap Dad. You’ll feel better now.”
As she went back to play with her Barbies and watch the movie, I laid my newly bejeweled head back down on the pillow and closed my stretched out sore eyelids imagining how funny I must look underneath a ton of blankets on a hot summer evening with the air conditioning blowing.
But you know what? I have to admit that my eyelids, once they snapped back into place, totally took my mind of the headache that I had. And the plastic babydoll under my shirt felt nice and cool against my skin, plus the pressure of the blankets and babydoll on my stomach made the queasiness feel better.
Who knew? My six-year-old daughter the doctor, that’s who. 
I’m at work and I walk into the men’s bathroom. The door isn’t even closed behind me and I notice that the whole room smells like something dead rotting. All I have to do is a simple in and out with nothing stinky involved, but anyone seeing me come out of the bathroom and coming in next is going to think that *I* have something evil and decaying inside of *me* and that I’m the one who contaminated the public restroom. Sigh. Don’t even get me started about the people who leave pieces of toilet paper all over the floor. Is it really that hard to hit the bowl? On second thought, it’s probably the same person and even he is trying to escape the odor as fast as possible. Well, at least they flushed. I think.
I saw a big bright pink cardboard display of makeup at Walgreens with a full size headshot of Jessica Simpson and a “50% OFF” clearance sign.
I never used to mind her when I thought she was at least trying to be a role model to young girls. Heck, even when she was doing the ditzy blonde “buffalo wings - I don’t eat buffalo” thing, she was still almost the girl next door.
But geez… Dukes of Hazzard bimbo, sexy Pizza Hut commercials, public affairs, lingerie shoot in Maxim… Her whole image in the press is all about “me me me” and “look how pretty and famous I am”. It obscures any good works that might be out there and her ditzy behavior just starts looking moronic.
So I see the sign and think, “Too bad Jess, you discounted yourself as a human being, the rest couldn’t have been far behind.”