Scott Cramer wrote this.

The Amazing Race - Season 9 - Episode 9

THIS WEEK - 1st
LAST WEEK - 4th, arrived at 6:47am
The Sickening Frat Boys (Eric and Jeremy) - Sigh. Back on top again. I’m worried the public loves to hate these guys *too* much. The editing of the show has their sickening comments back in the forefront. Let’s see… what was it this week? “Like getting in girls’ pants. Lie, cheat, steal, whatever it takes.” Nice. Real nice. Thanks CBS for keeping that in prime time. I can’t believe I’m going to admit this, though, but in the heat of the moment as Frats and Mojo were racing toward the finish line, I was rooting for Frats. AHHH!!! Okay, I didn’t want either team to win a trip but when Frats won a trip to Hong Kong, I started thinking. Ha - they could have a deadly run-in with Godzilla! Hmm… wait a minute… Godzilla is from Japan. Darn it. I just can’t catch a break this week.

THIS WEEK - 2nd
LAST WEEK - 2nd, arrived at 5:54am
Mo Jo (Joseph and Monica) - I would have liked to see them last. Second to last. Bicycling off a cliff (geez, it feels more like I’m talking about Frats). But, looking for the silver lining, it must be aggravating as all get-out to come in second *again* and just missing first place to the Old Couple last week and, of all teams this week, Frats. *AND* getting to hear Phil give someone else a wonderful trip to Hong Kong. HAHAHAHA! Okay, okay… second is pretty good no matter what, but I had to think of something to make myself feel better. I thought these two were just sweet and quiet when they started out the race. Then I thought they were a little clueless. The more they opened their mouths, however, the more idiocy - oh yeah, and expletives from Captain Redneck’s successor - spewed out. And, what the heck? They’ve got it out for The Hippies?! GRRR.

THIS WEEK - 3rd
LAST WEEK - 5th, arrived at 8:21am - Saved by a non-elimination round
Hippies (BJ and Tyler) - Hippy Power! All teams started the race with $181. By the time the Hippies got off the first flight, they had over $300!!! They picked up a desert Bedouin prior to this and the guy hooked them up with Snickers (nice product placement, and in a foreign country no less), Mango Juice (right up their alley, I’m sure), and GAS! From context, it sounds like they told the other teams before the start that they’d yield whoever didn’t give them money to help them out. Does this sound like our friendly hippies? Well, Mojo sure took it seriously and were nothing but slimey Fratboy wannabes (oh yeah, that’s right, I’m not above a double slam). If it wasn’t for a bad cab ride, I think these two would have had a shot at first place this week. Still in the running - and they’ll get money next round. Watch out… Mojo vs Karma. I’m taking Karma.

THIS WEEK - 4th
LAST WEEK - 3rd, arrived at 6:26am
Ray and Yolanda - Well, no fighting on camera this week. Umm… beyond that, not much to say. I’d like to see them above Frats and Mojo but not above Hippies and, as I watched this week, not above Fran and Barry. I only got one of those two wishes.

THIS WEEK - 5th
LAST WEEK - 1st, arrived at 5:35am
Old Couple (Fran and Barry) - I really found myself hoping for the impossibility of back-to-back non-elimination rounds this week. His driving skills aside, these two grew on me. Yeah, they got in over their head a number of times. Yeah, they’d gripe incessantly. But they could navigate like nobody’s business and, I’m betting at their age and with the things they’ve been through, they could care less what a lone blogger with four or five readers really thinks. Rock on guys, you have to be the coolest grandparents ever. You deserved more positive energy after giving The Hippies $20 at the beginning of the race - but perhaps it just balanced out with you not helping others earlier on. Still, maybe a really cool team next season will show up wearing Fran & Barry t-shirts. I think I’d like that.

The Amazing Race - Season 9 - Episode 7

THIS WEEK - 1st
LAST WEEK - 1st, arrived at 10:33
The Sickening Frat Boys (Eric and Jeremy) - It’s amazing how moving the show to an earlier prime time slot cleaned up how these dorks look on camera. 10pm time slot Frat Boys say, “Give me a piece of that! Oh, I want to spank you! We’re just here for as much loving as we can get!” 8pm time slot Frat Boys say, “We just like to have fun! Here Grandma, let me help you across the street!” Not sure what’s more sickening, these two dorks or CBS’s blatant editing. Hmm… wait. These two dorks. Hate ‘em or hate ‘em, but they’re like The Amazing Race cockroaches - you just can’t kill them. For doing so well, I’m not sure why they wasted the Fast Forward - but it does mean they can’t use it later in the race. I *hope* this plays in later. As a reward for their perseverance with the face of idiocy, they won a trip to the red carpet premiere of The DaVinci Code. My perfect scenario… While there, they sign ironclad agreements to star in a movie where they get to do full frontal bedroom scenes with their leading “ladies”. The working title to the film? Crying Game 2.

THIS WEEK - 2nd
LAST WEEK - 3rd, arrived at 11:40
Mo Jo (Joseph and Monica) - Wow. Breaking down crying and yelling at each other in the previous leg of the race is actually really motivating. Who knew. Watch out Dr. Phil, “Mo” is gunning for your job with his motivational talk to his partner. “Lift up your spirit before I get pissed.” Watch out Frat Boys, they’re all fired up for the number one spot next week - especially if more teams have penalties (see next couple).

THIS WEEK - 3rd
LAST WEEK - 6th, arrived at 1:02
Ray and Yolanda - Pretty solid this week. She sorta spanked him in the Herculean challenge. The man could not throw a spear - but he did look pretty tough bungee jumping from the bridge. So, thrower = no, throwee = great. When they get along they kick some butt. Previews for next week look stormy for them, though. I’m thinking it’s just a little bit of stress at this point in the race and they’ll overcome. Besides, I’m betting for a non-elimination round next time. All in all, coming from last place (well, just above getting kicked out) to 3rd place is a pretty good move. 15-minute penalty at the finish… Scary guys. You could have had 2nd.

THIS WEEK - 4th
LAST WEEK - 4th, arrived at 11:53
Old Couple (Fran and Barry) - Consistant. I really thought they’d be gone by now. 60-something years old and she jumped off a bridge. In the cold. In the pouring rain. You’ve *GOT* to give her props for that. They’ve got to push harder though. Physical is going to hurt them before this is out and they’re really not that much stronger mentally than anyone else. Basically, they need to avoid stupid mistakes and hope others make them. Oh yeah, and one more thing… Don’t let him drive anymore. Smashing the back of the SUV into a tree was classic. “I didn’t see it.” Whoa. Note to CBS - eye tests.

THIS WEEK - 5th
LAST WEEK - 2nd, arrived at 10:38
Hippies (BJ and Tyler) - Boys, boys, boys! You had me on the edge of my seat almost the entire race! Without your quirkiness I have to root for the Old Couple. I know you’re anxious to start your new sitcom you’ve so desperately earned after the race (come on network execs, take the hint here!) but please stop getting lost. I love the humor, but maybe a few less jokes and a little more map-reading. However, if you had to screw up before the end, better now than upcoming episodes. You’ve still got weaker teams you know you can take. With that 15 minute penalty you incurred, you almost *had* to count on a non-elimination. Very very lucky. Points, though, for staying positive when you were almost out of it! Double-points for the mud wrestling! Triple-points for the silly frog hat!

THIS WEEK - BYE BYE!
LAST WEEK - 5th, arrived at 12:17
Married Parents (Lake and Michelle) - You know, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anybody almost bitch and whine themselves into a heart attack like he did this episode. I imagined an ambulance pulling up with Dennis Leary driving and humming “I’m an asshole…” Surreal. Anybody notice she had no problem bungee jumping off the bridge? To get away from him, I would have done it with *NO* bungee cord. Oh well. In their exit interview she said they were happy and “it worked for them”. Two tickets back to Dysfunction Junction please.

End Notes
All in all, this seemed like a pretty fast paced episode. I would have bet on it being a non-elimination but no go. Just as well, the Hippies pulled out in the end and Captain Redneck went to last. Works for me. If it really was as frantic as I thought and not just editing, I think tiredness is going to play into the next leg.