Eclectic musical tastes - When you are vacillating between two radio stations because you can’ t decide if you want to hear Ozzy Osbourne or Shania Twain.
Getting older - Shania won.
Archive for December, 2003
My brother/partner was comping some text for a page… Normally I rush through just looking at the layout and all the nonsensical “Greek” filler for words, but something caught my eye so I took a closer look.
—begin cut/paste—
Here are some flowers that grow out of cans.
How did they get into the cans? I think some man in Japan put them in there.
All I did was add a little pilsner. Turns out flowers enjoy beer too.
They grew and grew. Now they are bigger. Now they require at least a case of beer a week. Very expensive alcoholic plants. I am going to enroll them in AAFG. Alcoholics Anonymous for Greenery. I imagine that the plants will go through withdrawal when they are denied alcohol. They may even have allergic reactions to water. I bet they get the shakes. Poor poor alcoholic plants. I must find them a sponsor plant to rely on when they get weak. I don’t want them sneaking a shot here or there when I am not looking. Ok. I think I have enough text to see how this wraps now.
—end cut/paste—
I think the stress is getting to him.
Geez… I never knew having two readers could be so problematic. I have been told that in one fell swoop I’ve disrespected both religion and women (12/29 post, actually referring to and obviously degrading further the original 12/27 post/notification). I can only imagine how bad it would have been had I made the wheelchair joke that was rattling around in my brain.
Just a quick disclaimer - though it would probably be quicker and more effective if I just called both of you - about these concerns but here goes. I do not disrespect religion, however I do disprespect the hypocrisy inherent in so many organized religions - but to be fair to organized religions, at least they are trying and I’d rather see the world with flaws moving forward than with nothing at all and sinking backward. I’m sure Christina Aguilera could benefit from the tutelage of a Catholic nun or Zen Buddhist Monk - different wisdom for different folks. I won’t claim to know what works best for any individual - but on the flipside, I won’t have them claim it for me either.
Disclaimer, part deux - I was in no way intending disrespect for women. I was poking more fun at the ability of a person to become an ordained reverend in “Just three minutes” to quote from their site. Side note: Truthfully it’s more like 30 seconds unless you type really slow or have to change into special robes before submitting the form. I’ll leave it stand as it is - a piece of sarcastic Internet humor posted in amusement regarding the world around us.
Besides, why do guys do anything? You really think Og invented fire to better the tribe and help warm up the sabre tooth leftovers? No, he did it for the chicks.
Rev Scott
[The preceding post and events that led up to it respectfully dedicated to Sam K. Halo and Horns, Sam! Peace.]
A few days ago I posted my official certification or ordination as a reverend in the ULC.
Let’s see… I got comments like “You are so weird sometimes” and “I’m speechless!”
I figure I’d better explain myself so people don’t get the wrong idea and think I’m disrespecting religion.
The truth is, I did it for the chicks.
Respectfully,
Reverend Scott
ps, I am available for one on one religious consultation to females in the tri-state area ages 27 to 37. All sins absolved before I drop you off at home.
What does it mean when someone gives you shampoo as a Christmas gift?
I guess I should feel good that it wasn’t mouthwash.
This Christmas season I was feeling… well… like I needed something more in my life. That plus late nights and the Internet and low and behold (I can officially say things like that now) I have added entitlement to my spirituality.
Okay, okay… but I found another Coupling quote (from the great BRITISH original series) that I *had* to post.
When man invented fire, he didn�t say, ‘hey, let�s cook’, he said, ‘great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark.’
-Steve Taylor (actor Jack Davenport)
Actually, my friend Ken came up with this first but he made me swear not to tell anyone he uses the word “bottoms”.
I havn’t blogged in a while but I wanted to share with the three of you out there a quote from one of my new favorite series, Coupling. No, NOT the American version - the good one, from the BBC.
There are three things all men should know, and it�s time you did too. You�re never going to be famous, you�re fatter than you think, and most important of all, they don�t keep wearing stockings.
-Steve Taylor (actor Jack Davenport)
Ah, yes. Enjoy. I have to go work out now or I’ll never see the stockings in the first place. 