Monthly Archives: August 2002

I contend that as you get older someone replaces all the mirrors in your house with carnival mirrors.

Late night MTV, a laptop, and broadband Internet access. I’d write something creative if I had any brain synapses left.

There’s a new show on TV named “Reruns.” They rehash old television sitcom scripts word for word in a Saturday Night Live setting. It absolutely amazes me the power a laugh-track still has on the American viewer’s psyche. You think … Continue reading →

George W. Bush and the “War on Terrorism” (insert CNN patriotic graphics and James Earl Jones sound-byte here) is out of control. I’m as patriotic as the next guy – my flag was purchased well before September 11th. I even … Continue reading →

Top 10 Signs You Might Be A Player (male) #10 – You use the term “bagged” outside of the grocery #9 – “Chatting her up” is a well used social tool #8 – Your cologne is named Machiavelli #7 – … Continue reading →

Will surprises never end? I watched an episode of Meet My Parents – a reality TV show where three guys stay with a girl and her parents and are systematically eliminated from the dating pool – and it solidly did … Continue reading →

I made a Verne Troyer joke the other day. Verne is one of the most talented actors (he is the vertically challenged member of the Austin Powers cast) to hit the big screen since Oz. Plus, Verne has a beautiful … Continue reading →

What happened to medium? SMALL, LARGE, and FAMILY-SIZE REGULAR, BIGGIE, and SUPER-SIZE TAD-SMALLER-THAN-MEDIUM, PRETENDING-NOT-TO-BE-MEDIUM, and OH-MY-GAWD Can we not regulate fast food restaurants? If they have three sizes, then THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE IS MEDIUM!!!

I got a call last night. FOX broadcasting wants to buy the rights to my idea for running political races in the same format as their new smash hit American Idol! They’ve even reinstituted the swim-suit competition to draw in … Continue reading →

http://www.topsecretrecipes.com Now you can have that Taco Bell indigestion any time without ever leaving your own house!

How old is Morgan Fairchild anyway? I did a little searching on the ‘net and found a birth date of February 3rd, 1950. Have any of you been watching the Old Navy commercials recently? Ponce de Leon had it all … Continue reading →

They call it a two party system – but it doesn’t seem very fun to me.

What if we ran our political races more like the hit television series American Idol? Right off the bat – ditch the two party system and gather up all the would-be Presidents, Governors, Senators, Congressmen, what have you, and group … Continue reading →

I think I posted months back ranting against reality TV shows – but I’ve really fallen for Fox’s new American Idol. Modeled after a British series with the same format, Americans get a chance to pick one of their next … Continue reading →

A few days ago I used the term “Meat Robot” to describe the brainless sector of our workforce commonly found manning the counters at fast food restaurants. I like the term and feel it’s an appropriate description for a subsection … Continue reading →